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Sue Gives a Fuck

Picture | Melania Trump through the years - ABC News - ivanka trump see through dress
Picture | Melania Trump through the years – ABC News – ivanka trump see through dress | ivanka trump see through dress

The UK annoyance association had been cat-and-mouse for addition like Theresa May to appear along. We had David Cameron – not camp. Gordon Brown – could not be beneath camp. So we were accessible to booty any adumbration of allure we could get. Afresh Theresa wore a leopard-print babe heel and we’ve been dining out on it for years. The cardinal of queens I’ve apparent singing Fields of Gold by Eva Cassidy as Fields of Aureate – I’d say it’s added than seven.

My appearance is about Theresa activity into Brexitland. It juxtaposes all the absolute things she’s said about Brexit, through gritted teeth, with what Alice says back apperception what Wonderland will be like. And acutely Alice’s Wonderland turns out to be article absolutely different.

I accept performed it for politicians. The Labour MP Dawn Butler absolved out. Maybe she didn’t appetite to be associated with article so anti-Brexit. I performed it already for the baton of Scottish Ukip. He admired it. He backward appropriate to the end of the night, dancing until 3am.

I anticipate a about-face happened in annoyance aloof as Theresa came into power. A decade ago, British annoyance was 40-year-old men in sequins in pubs, lip-syncing Shirley Bassey. Nowadays, it has added austere things things to say. But allotment of me wonders whether the address with Theresa is artlessly the actuality that she’s a woman, there actuality an apprehension that it’s men who should absorb roles of power. Also, macho politicians never accept to anguish about a amount of annoyance queens accomplishing a cardinal on them – although there are a lot of Donald Trumps out there, because he’s so camp.

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After aftermost year’s calamity, what’s your admonition for her appointment speech? Whenever I’m accident my articulation and accept to sing, I do a splits jump aloof afore anniversary aerial agenda so the agenda is drowned out by the admirers whooping.

Lydia L’Scabies

The best job I anytime had was alive in a abhorrence bewilderment in Brighton, so I capital my Theresa act to be terrifying. And backroom at the moment is terrifying. Back I appear on stage, there’s a bump of a burst Union Jack and I do the aboriginal accent Theresa fabricated as prime minister: “We will accomplish Britain a country that works, not for the advantaged few, but for every one of us.”

But I allotment this up with my adaptation of the Grand Aerial Witch, the appearance from Roald Dahl’s The Witches. As the act goes on, the wig comes off and aggregate gets darker – a bit like what happens back you burrow into Theresa’s accomplishments and see what she said about Section 28.

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Everyone had their booty on the accomplished Theresa against Andrea Leadsom administration race. Andrea was all admirable and smiley and floral, while Theresa was menacing. It reminded me a lot of The Witches, abnormally back Andrea alone out, and so I started application the book in my act. Andrea had one bad banderole and boom! Gone! It charge accept been witchcraft.

The Witches starts by saying: “Real witches dress in accustomed clothes and attending actual abundant like accustomed women.” It additionally says they “hate children”. I don’t anticipate the Tories affliction about the approaching of adolescent people. I’ll never be able to buy a abode – and now Brexit has happened, I ability not be able to assignment overseas. So that was the action for my act: they appetite to abort adolescent people, like the Grand Aerial Witch.

It should be acclaimed that we accept women in power, and it could be apparent as misogynistic for me to alarm Theresa a witch. At the aforementioned time, though, there are a lot of allotment witches – like Fiona Goode in American Abhorrence Story, Willow in Buffy. I achievement Theresa takes it on the chin.

Conference advice: Back in doubt, aloof stick to the Macarena, hun.

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Fagulous

I had my eye on Theresa back she was home secretary but it’s alone back she’s been prime abbot that I’ve been accomplishing her properly. You can accept a absolute beam with her. She’s a absolute assuming villain – the way she carries herself is so menacing. Back you see her appear on TV, you aloof appetite to boo and hiss, which my admirers generally does.

Our show’s strapline is: “A hot and bathed Brexit.” Back you sit and accept to what our politicians are adage – “a adamantine Brexit”, “strong and stable” – it’s such a bifold entendre, it’s farcical. It’s the affectionate of actual annoyance queens accept been cat-and-mouse for.

I adulation the abstraction that Theresa has this annoying side. I think: “What happens afterwards hours with her husband, Philip?” The cabaret night I run is alleged Theresa May’s Legs Akimbo. I host the accomplished black as Theresa, accomplishing a few numbers myself. Aftermost night, we did a common singalong to Any Deal Will Do, to the tune from Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat. I additionally do a cardinal as Marilyn Monroe, alleged Brexit is a Girl’s Best Friend.

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People could say that me bathrobe up as Theresa May in fishnets with my bum out is disrespectful, but afresh I would say she’s not been actual admiring to the LGBTQ association or added minorities. It feels able to accomplish as the prime abbot – and it gives me the befalling to highlight these things in a way that doesn’t accomplish it too politically preachy.

This summer, she arrive absolutely a few LGBTQ bodies to No 10 for Pride. So the aftermost time I did the performance, I gave her the line: “Oh, I adulation the gays.” That said, I’ll be sad back she goes. Boris Johnson’s Legs Akimbo doesn’t absolutely accept the aforementioned arena to it.

Conference advice: Theresa needs to allege with the aforementioned appetite she gives active through a acreage of wheat. And if all abroad fails, she should approach her close annoyance queen and accordance the admirers a acceptable adamantine Brexit innuendo. They’ll be adjustable in her hands!

Ripley

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I started accomplishing Theresa May in my appearance Like a Sturgeon, in which I accomplish as Nicola, the baton of the SNP. I’m from Edinburgh and I adulation her. She’s my better inspiration. The indyref absolutely galvanised people: I don’t anticipate Scots would accept anytime acquainted this renewed faculty of appearance if it weren’t for the SNP.

I capital to alpha exploring characters who were the antipode of aggregate Nicola stands for, so Theresa was the accessible baddie. It was 2016, aloof afterwards Brexit and the abandonment of David Cameron. I thought: “We assuredly accept a absolute Conservative villain.” She’s actual Dickensian, there’s article of Scrooge about her. I could account her bit-by-bit up the stairs, candle in hand, annexation atramentous off people.

As time has gone on, I anticipate she’s weakened, what with all the U-turns. Now I comedy her as a added abject character, a actual annoyed woman who all-overs back addition rings the doorbell. The act is her disturbing herself to shreds. She’ll say article afresh belie herself. The accomplished appearance is based on things she’s said and done, like acceptance Boris Johnson to aloof airing out of the chiffonier of his own accord.

She does a few affected numbers – a bit of Victoria Beckham’s abandoned material, a bit of Sophie Ellis Bextor. I call my appearance as ability lip-syncing. I consistently change into altered changeable political figures: Arlene Foster, Angela Merkel, Theresa May, Melania and Ivanka Trump. I anticipate any woman who comes into a position of ability – abnormally if they accept a adage and two iconic pieces in their apparel – will anon become fodder for anybody on the annoyance scene. Theresa repeating able and stable, able and stable, meant she aloof became a apology of herself overnight.

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She may not accept been a allowance to the country, but she’s absolutely been a allowance for the annoyance community.

Conference advice: If she affairs on afraid annihilation on the bank again, double-sided band aloof isn’t activity to cut it. I advance a able aerosol adhesive. It will aftermost longer, additional the effluvium will accomplish the appointment a lot added interesting.

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