When her sister Lindsey got affianced aftermost May, Corey Smith knew she would be maid of honor.
What she DIDN’T apperceive was what that meant. Like abounding bridesmaids-to-be, Smith knew her appellation but was borderline of her absolute job.
“The best affair I did was get online and acquisition lists of maid- of-honor duties. They were appealing comprehensive,” she says.
In an age of monster weddings — and monster brides — abounding women alarming actuality asked to accompany a bells party. Afterwards all, you are apparently never activity to abrasion that dress again, and how abounding added brightly-dyed shoes can your closet handle? Unfortunately, those are abandoned a few of the issues bridesmaids accord with back enlisted to don chiffon for a friend. The best accepted problems are about money-related.
The boilerplate bells today costs about $22,000, a amount that sometimes includes a bells planner. For those brides who accept to plan alone, though, the Internet generally becomes their basic coordinator. Web sites such as theknot.com and weddingchannel.com are abounding of admonition for brides-to-be, but they additionally action tips to added associates of the bells party.
Just ask Smith. Back she went to her computer in chase of a maid of account how-to guide, she logged assimilate theknot.com, one of the Internet’s best absolute bells resources.
“There are things you wouldn’t alike consider,” she says. “All the abstruse things: alive the gown, blockage on the bouquets. You’re affectionate of in allegation of the groomsmen.”
Spend, spend, spend
Lawrence bells artist Carmen Hocking says administering analysis is a acceptable way to apprentice bridesmaid etiquette. Perhaps the best important affair for bridesmaids to know, Hocking says, is that they acceptable will accept to pay for their dress, shoes and any added bells apparel needs. She says best brides are acute to their associates and argue them to set spending limits.
To advice accumulate costs down, theknot.com suggests activity with the helpmate back she picks out her dress and yours. Suggest a two-piece dress so sizes can be alloyed and matched, eliminating about-face hassles. Or get your dresses off-the-rack. That way, anybody takes her dress home that day and, again, with no alterations necessary.
Despite the best planning and communication, Smith says she thinks there consistently will be some bridesmaid drama.
“Whenever you get a accumulation of women calm who all accept altered styles and altered tastes, there are consistently activity to be issues,” she says.
Hopefully, your ascribe will accumulate you from spending big money on a dress you hate. But if you DO end up with a sea-foam blooming taffeta number, be sensitive. The helpmate acutely loves it, so try to accumulate your aperture shut.
Now that your aperture is shut, bethink to accumulate your wallet open. Nobody said the job would be cheap, and it’s not. Theknot.com says to apprehend spending about $300, the boilerplate amount of today’s bridesmaid dress, and maybe a bit added for alterations. And don’t balloon shoes; they boilerplate about $50.
Even afterwards you’ve laid bottomward all that banknote for bells necessities, you’re still accepted to accord gifts. Theknot.com suggests spending about $40 for the battery and $50 to $75 for the wedding. And be able if the maid of account asks you to advice awning costs for the battery and bachelorette party; this can be anywhere from $50 to $100.
All for the bride
After your wallet seems empty, be able to action your time. Bridesmaids should be accessible to handle wedding-related jobs, such as acclamation invitations, befitting RSVP lists, active errands and accessory as abounding showers and parties as possible. And, at those showers, it’s the bridesmaids’ job to address bottomward all the ability and who gave them.
For Smith, the hardest allotment was addition out how to advice — but not too much.
“Lindsey was a actual absolute bride, so she did a lot of things on her own. I anticipate mostly she aloof admired alive we were there to abutment her,” she says. “But there were absolutely times back she would say, ‘I charge you guys to be allowance me with this,’ or, ‘You charge to be there for that.’ She absolutely disqualified the bells affair with an adamant fist, so to speak.”
Hocking says bridesmaids charge to access at the abbey the aforementioned time as the bride. And be able to run aftermost minute errands on the bells day — alike if it’s a cruise to a drive-thru to amuse a bride’s last-minute cravings.
After the ceremony, theknot.com says bridesmaids should get the accession started by introducing guests, assuming them to the bar and accepting bodies on the ball floor.
Smith says bridesmaids should baby to the helpmate — 100 percent. So while she was bridesmaid, she did whatever the helpmate desired. Of course, Smith is still distinct and was ambience the maid-of-honor antecedent she knows her sister will accept to follow.
“It’s consistently up to the bride,” she says. “If she says close-toe, satin, blush shoes, that’s what you wear.”
Just bethink to breach them in first.
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