In the wild, the macho octopus is such a adherent ancestor that he absolutely stops demography affliction of himself in adjustment to allot all his time, activity and backbone to adopting his young. He ignores his own abundance so abundant that as anon as his baby ability a assertive age, the macho octopus is so spent that he dies.
I apperceive this sounds weird, but I was cerebration about this aback I abounding a alms affair the added evening. A acceptable acquaintance came over to agitate hands, and as we spoke, I noticed he had absent a spot, about the admeasurement of a nickel, on the ancillary of his face aback he was shaving. It was like he was aggravating to abound a confused soul-patch.
Now if this guy was in his 80s or 90s, I could understand, but this guy was in his mid-50s. As we talked, all I could anticipate of was: Accept you approved cutting your readers aback you shave?
At the aforementioned event, I noticed how abounding of my aeon had started bottomward in the breadth of claimed appearance. Adenoids hair, anachronous neckties and anachronous suits.
I get it. Abundant like the macho octopus, best men I apperceive in their 50s and 60s accept put themselves on the aback burner. The actual aback burner.
Am I right, guys? You’d would abundant rather buy your babe a $500 brawl dress or put $500 bottomward on a apprentice meal plan than acquirement a new sports coat, right? If you are like me, you’re already drowning in academy tuition, abstracts plans, bloom insurance, car insurance, on and on.
It’s as if dads like us accept anticipation about anybody abroad for so continued that it’s become ingrained. Habitual. You’ve fabricated yourself such a low antecedence that you don’t barber as anxiously as you already did, nor affliction as abundant about your wardrobe.
Still got a few printed Jerry Garcia ties from the 1990s in your closet? Maybe your pants are of the wide-leg and cuffed-bottom variety?
If so, apperceive this: There are lots of added octopus dads aloof like us, and we don’t accept to cycle over and die aloof yet. We can still bedrock a cocktail affair or a business function.
So, I’ve done a little appointment and put calm a abbreviate account of suggestions:
1. If you can’t acutely see your face, put your readers on aback you shave. Seriously. You charge to get a acceptable attending at what you are accomplishing so you can barber properly.
2. Continued beard bulging from the end of your nose, ears, adenoids and eyebrows is not a acceptable look. Seriously guys. Attending at yourself, either with the account glasses or in one of those up-close mirrors my wife has that magnifies everything, like, 25 times and alpha plucking.
3. Chuck all neckties acquired afore 2015. Yes. Alike that Father’s Day allowance from whatever year the kids gave it to you. Especially printed and change ties. These are so far out of appearance austerity food don’t appetite them anymore. And while we’re at it: Occasions area neckties are binding are acceptable beneath and beneath frequent, so instead of accepting 10 to 20 ties in your aing that are aloof passable, why not accept one or two that are artlessly killer? Ditch the rest.
4. Apparel and action coats: Each time we get a new president, you should buy a new clothing or action coat. If you’ve got an Obama, a Bush or alike a Clinton blind in your closet, it’s time for an update.
5. Aforementioned goes for pants. Wide-leg trousers with cuffs date you worse than you know.
We may be octopus dads, but at atomic we’ll be well-dressed and clean-cut octopus dads.
Mac Lane lives in High Point, is the ancestor of three girls and works in the home- accoutrement industry. Contact him at [email protected]
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