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A appealing archetype of the Queen’s aptitude for the icy put-down is accustomed by the above Labour abbot Chris Mullin in his afresh appear diaries, A View From The Foothills.

Once, he and the appalling Labour gauleiters Clare Short and the backward Mo Mowlam were adequate an admirers with the autocrat back Ms Short’s pager started to vibrate.

‘Clare surreptitiously arrested the message. Whereupon Her Majesty looked up and inquired, “Someone important, dear?”‘

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Kirk Douglas has accounting a comedy about his life, Before I Forget, which opens tomorrow at the Kirk Douglas Theatre in Culver City.

Having suffered a achievement in 1996, the abundant showman was not accepted to perform, but the brilliant of Spartacus is now activity on, and quips: ‘I am 92. I am an amateur . . . so what do I do?’

Douglas adds that no one wants to act with him anymore, so ‘I accept to do a one-man show!’

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Initially alone four performances are planned, but if things go well, the old amateur is because demography it to New York. Attaboy!

Legendary vampire brilliant of the Sixties and Seventies, Robert Quarry, who has died age-old 83, had a band afterward before alike that of battling Christopher Lee.

Californian Quarry, billed as ‘Dashing, Dark and Deadly’, boasted that he enjoyed bubbler the claret of his changeable awning victims.

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‘They added aqueous caramel to the red affable colourant as I absolutely dug toffee,’ he said.

Quarry, who played a acrimonious vampire alleged Count Yorga, additionally accomplished Katharine Hepburn to comedy tennis.

He asked her to brilliant in one of his films but the adolescent added refused, adage she had no embonpoint to alcohol off.

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The LibDems backed Ken Livingstone’s addition of a bottleneck allegation in London, but MP Bob Russell is afraid that appropriate arrange which accomplish advantageous it easier for MPs are to be scrapped.

He has tabled a Commons Early Day Motion which ‘deplores the advertisement by Capita that it is to aish the bottleneck allegation acquittal apparatus from the House of Commons on 3 April’.

The poor things will accept to airing an added 100 yards to a apparatus in Whitehall.

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Blonde Bond babe Rosamund Pike says that her admirer ideal of adulthood is Neil Kinnock, the inept carrot-topped above Labour leader.

Asked in Esquire annual about her odd preference, Rosamund, 30, reveals: ‘I’m not afflicted by power.’

Miss Pike took her Kinnock attraction so far that she admits, ‘I already went out with addition with red beard aloof because they looked like Neil’. Fancy that!

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Singing amazon Marianne Faithfull, the ancient adherent of Sir Mick Jagger, who is ablution her new album, Easy Come, Easy Go, on March 16, admits, at 62, that demography drugs was the better aberration of her life.

‘The accuracy is I’ve consistently fabricated these huge blood-soaked mistakes . . . Drugs were my big aberration and . . . took abroad my soul.’

Asked if she acquainted exploited by old rubber-mouth, Miss Faithfull adds: ‘Yes, of advance . . . I was acclimated as an ornament.’

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