This month, the UK has a celebrated befalling to advance auto rights. The government is currently consulting the accessible on whether it should accomplish it easier for auto bodies to accept their gender accurately recognised through the Gender Recognition Act.
Join VICE and Stonewall in calling on the government to accomplish basic changes to the GRA and abide your acknowledgment to the consultation. Follow all of our Recognise Me advantage here.
Let’s cut the bits – there’s no absolute way a cis actuality can behest or allege on a activity that you do not alive and a apple you do not accept to cross as a auto person.
In a apple area misconstrued account about auto folk – what we need, what we deserve, how we should alive – abatement from the aperture of so abounding cis people, we charge to end the agitation on whether auto womxn are womxn, whether we should be able to use the actual bathrooms and alteration rooms, and whether we should be parents or teachers. Because it’s not a debate. We are advantaged to our animal rights aloof as abundant as anybody else.
What we absolutely charge are ears, eyes, and action. We charge you to accept to our problems and our voices. We charge you to be on the attending out for how you can use your advantage for our account and not yours, and how to actively acknowledge to, altercate with, and alarm out transphobia in your accustomed conversations and the civic news.
Here are 100 agency that cis allies can advice us. Bear in apperception that this is abandoned a start.
1. Account people’s pronouns. This is absolutely not actual complicated! If addition tells you how they identify, you accept no say on the matter. Use the pronouns they use.
2. Still on pronouns: if you don’t apperceive somebody’s pronouns and appetite to get it right, either use gender aloof pronouns (i.e. they/them/their) or agilely and carefully allege to the actuality and ask. Be acquainted of your ambience and those about you afore accomplishing so – do not out this actuality or put them in an alarming situation.
3. Auto folk can use gender aloof pronouns, so amuse do not accept that we charge attach to a binary.
4. Try to alpha removing bifold accent from your accustomed conversations. If we all accomplish acquainted efforts to beacon abroad from gendering everything, this will accept a knock-on aftereffect that stops our learnt attraction of accepting to bisect aggregate into binaries.
5. Auto women are women. This is not up for agitation – so don’t try to.
6. Auto men exist! We are generally disregarded or forgotten, so try to admonish yourself that we are out actuality and can acquisition the macho cis apple adamantine to navigate.
7. Alarm out transphobia WHEREVER you are! Alike if a auto actuality is not present, be our defence. Hateful accent perpetuates the alarming aeon of violence.
8. Accept and be articulate that transphobia is never “funny,” “in jest,” or “banter.”
9. Don’t accredit to us as a whole. Do not accomplish across-the-board generalisations about every auto person. We are all abandoned bodies with altered opinions.
10. Reject the abstraction that transitioning looks like one thing. Bodies ambition to alteration in assorted ways. If addition doesn’t appetite to or can’t medically transition, this does not beggarly they are “less trans.” There is no such affair as “less trans” or “more trans.” This is a claimed adventure that doesn’t charge to beat any boxes in adjustment for the alteration to be accurate – by anyone!
11. NEVER ask annihilation about our ballocks or body. “So… do you still accept aggregate bottomward there” as a puzzled duke flutters a our genitalia is not anytime activity to be OK. That is final.
12. Oh, let’s not balloon that we do not all apperceive anniversary other. The anomalous association is bigger than you think.
13. Try to accountability from application accent that is heavily afflicted or acquired from anomalous ability if this is not your community. Words and phrases are a way of advice in cipher for a ample majority of the anomalous association (like “reading”). Accent creates a chat aural the anomalous association that is meant to assure and ensure safety.
14. Do not admission anomalous or auto safe spaces afterwards a anomalous actuality allurement you to be there or afterwards authoritative abiding that allies are welcome.
15. Back you are in anomalous spaces, repeat: “This is not my space, I will not ample it” and absolutely do what you say.
16. Be acquainted of your hands. Do not blow bodies afterwards accord in all spaces – and abnormally anomalous spaces – and abnormally abstain affecting auto bodies who generally are triggered by concrete acquaintance involving genitalia of their body.
17. If you are alleged out for actuality offensive, do not argue. This is not a debate. Apologise. Booty a moment to reflect. If necessary, leave or accord the amplitude over to those you accept affronted or upset.
18. Never try to altercate with a auto actuality that commodity isn’t transphobic.
19. Admonish us that actuality auto isn’t a accountability or a bad thing!
20. Recognise the backbone and ability of your voice.
21. Now use it.
22. If a auto actuality is actuality verbally assaulted, fabricated to feel alarming or uncomfortable, or actuality attacked in any way and needs your advice – accessible your mouth.
23. This actuality said, do not become the accessory that speaks over or for a auto actuality in this situation. Ask if we appetite you to footfall in because there’s annihilation added arresting than cis actuality silencing you. It happens enough, jeez!
24. Allocution to us about added than gender! Movies, what we had for dinner, our aing anniversary – annihilation that isn’t connected affecting labour.
25. Booty us off your affection boards. Book us, pay us, and bless us.
26. Do not fetishise auto folk. We are not your animal experimentations, tokens, or acumen to insubordinate adjoin your parents. We are not actuality for you.
27. Criticise the media. Write to the newspapers, institutions, and publications that are overextension abhorrence appear the auto community. Create acclamation and petitions. Civic account portrays us as monsters and threats to society. We can’t stop them from accomplishing that on our own.
28. Apprentice what Mx means.
29. Allocution to the bearing aloft you – your parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles. You can’t consistently change acceptable mindsets, but you can accord them a new perspective.
30. Support the bearing below; allege to adolescent kids. Accomplish them acquainted that gender is a spectrum and they don’t accept to accomplish to one gender for their accomplished life. Brainwash them on their abandon and choices.
31. Don’t buy gendered things for kids about you. This aloof pushes the account that boys charge like dejected and girls charge like blush and abandoned one of them can comedy football in their additional time. I don’t alike decidedly like either colours!
32. Stop assuming abandoned auto bodies acquaintance name changes or surgery. Me alteration my name and a acquaintance accepting affiliated and alteration her surname meant we had to go through some agnate acknowledged process. Advice auto folk with these acknowledged procedures, whether that’s cogent us which coffer is accessible to change your name with or activity through the accomplishment poll action with us. It agency it doesn’t feel like these are “trans issues” – they’re aloof absolutely ambagious forms that cipher absolutely understands!
33. Allotment your platforms. I am annoyed of cis bodies talking about auto health. Ask us to talk, educate, allotment our stories, and pay us. This way you don’t get the acclaim for the lives we live.
34. Support auto artists. Rock up to our exhibitions. Buy our books. Accept to our podcasts. Use your amusing platforms to allotment the absurd things we do admitting the affliction we face.
35. Don’t apprehend auto folk to consistently congratulate you for actuality an ally. Sometimes you’re aloof actuality a acceptable person. I don’t get a gold brilliant for aloof actuality a acceptable person.
36. Donate to organizations and charities that are set up to aid and advice auto folk. There are so abounding organisations disturbing with funding. Afterwards lots of these assets we can’t admission things like brainy bloom casework and chargeless meet-ups.
37. Do not acquaint us what RuPaul, Trump, or the Daily Mail said about us. Chances are we already know.
38. Post about the #blacktranslivesmatter attack – highlight that auto bodies of colour are targets of violence.
Google is your friend. I am not, abnormally if you’re allurement me how doctors accomplish a penis from my leg.
39. If you are dating a auto person, try to accept their triggers. For example, me and my accomplice alarm my menstrual aeon “Lucifer.” So if I argument her to say “Lucifer is here,” she knows to accompany amber and pillows. You can additionally try accoutrement blockade or pad boxes and wrapping with beautiful cartoons or their favourite colour.
40. Do not acquaint us we “are arena the victim,” WE ARE THE FUCKING VICTIM.
41. Do not appear panels that abode gender and/or auto character if anybody on the console is cis.
42. Accord auto creatives platforms to allotment assignment that aren’t all about actuality trans.
43. Do your research. For all apprenticed questions, alter to Google. Google is your friend. I am not, abnormally if you’re allurement me how doctors accomplish a penis from my leg.
44. If auto folk do accept to explain commodity to you that may be uncomfortable, triggering, or abashing for us, buy us a agglomeration of flowers, booty us for dinner, bead commodity into our PayPal. No activity should be free.
45. Transphobia is a huge affair in the anomalous community. Do not let added bodies who analyze as anomalous get abroad with things, because they can be by far the worst.
46. Record transphobic incidents. (Caveat: This is abandoned if your actual abetment is not bare and you accept arrested you can use this footage by the actuality involved.) Allotment this with anybody you can. It may advance to case or bodies in positions loosing their job. Cipher should still be accustomed to be a CEO and use abhorrent slurs.
47. Don’t catechism someone’s religious behavior because they are auto and you anticipate they go adjoin what it says in a angelic book. This isn’t your business, OK?
48. Auto issues are not for profit. That’s it.
49. “Queer” is not a theme. Do not accept a “queer” abode affair and let boys who still use the chat “faggot” abrasion your heels and dresses because it’s fun.
50. Drag queens are not consistently trans, but they can be – so account that!
51. Do not accomplish addition feel bad afterwards boring you for commodity you accept done that is accounted transphobic. Your answerability is not my answerability to feel.
52. Don’t ask what gender anguish feels like because it’s a brainless catechism and there’s no way you can try to accept it.
53. Ask your accompany or auto folk you apperceive if they’d like aggregation back activity to hospital appointments. Hospitals are alarming at the best of times and sometimes you don’t consistently get the treatment, doctors, or after-effects you want. Be there to accord a hug, at least.
54. Do annihilation you can to stop auto absolute aitionist feminists (TERFs) from abrogation stickers, leaflets etc. Tear bottomward aggregate you see associated with them.
55. Do not appoint in question-based conversations with TERFs. You accept annihilation to apprentice from them.
56. Actual others back they misgender people.
57. Gender and female are not the aforementioned thing. Remember that at all times.
58. Do not ask a auto person’s accomplice what actuality in a accord with a auto actuality “makes” them. It makes them in love, now fuck off.
59. Auto Lives Amount should be added than a hashtag. Push it added than amusing media.
60. Acquaint your auto accompany and accessory how abundant they look. Highlight the changes afterwards hormones, surgery, or alike aloof a acceptable bark day.
61. You are not a accurate accessory if you acquiesce your accomplice to use transphobic language. Brainwash your accompany and family.
62. Adulation your accouchement behindhand of what gender they analyze as. Best self-hate for abounding auto folk comes from not actuality accustomed at home.
63. Action shelter, money, aliment etc. The basics of adaptation are adamantine for auto folk. If you accept abundant to spare, try to offer.
64. This is not a “phase.” Do not acquaint me it is one.
65. If your auto acquaintance is abrogation a amusing bearings and feels afraid about travel, action to airing them to a alternation base and delay with them, drive them home, or get them a taxi. Travelling home abandoned by yourself can be a alarming scenario.
66. Do not anticipate you are extenuative us. We don’t charge saving. You are allowance us to accept what anybody abroad has afterwards accepting to ask for it.
67. Be alive about your allyship. Aloof adage you are an accessory but not accomplishing abundant to absolutely accomplish a change isn’t enough.
68. Abstain gendered argot agreement like “dude,” “man,” or “missy.” For auto people, these too feel like misgendering.
69. Expand your ability of gender. For example, the Yoruba accent is genderless. There is additionally a third gender in abounding airy philosophies.
70. Decolonise the way you anticipate of gender. Admonish yourself that these amusing constructs are postcolonial issues that the western apple accept pushed assimilate people.
71. Be aggressive acquainted of the systems that assignment adjoin auto folk in issues like policing, housing, and bloom care.
72. Action to advice go to bloom affairs and assessments. These spaces and the bodies aural them can be actual triggering and account distress.
73. Actual yourself if you accidentally misgender someone. It doesn’t amount if it was an blow – it still hurts.
74. Accomplish no excuses for others. No auto actuality wants to apprehend one of your accompany say commodity offensive, abandoned for you to say, “I’ve accepted them for ages, they don’t beggarly it like that.”
75. Don’t balloon that racism is abounding in the anomalous association and auto bodies of colour are generally the best vulnerable. Assure us.
76. Do not alarm yourself an accessory if you do not accept in complete intersectionality. You be xenophobic and be an accessory for auto folk. It doesn’t assignment like that, I’m afraid!
77. Sex assignment is a service. Again, this is not up for debate. Do not try to stop auto folk from advocating for and implementing their own assurance measures. Do not adumbrate your ageism adjoin workers with affected worry.
78. Do not ask to try on or feel a strap-on, plate, or packer. These accord to us.
79. Accept auto folk back they say they accept been targeted. Recognise the abhorrence that is befuddled at us from so abounding angles.
80. Read Charlie Craggs’ To My Auto Sisters, Juno Dawson’s The Gender Games, C Riley Snorton’s Black on Both Sides, and Travis Alabanza’s Afore I Footfall Outside (You Adulation Me).
81. Relearn there is no accepted auto experience. Not all of us go through the aforementioned things – we are all shaped by our capricious lives.
82. Allotment our work. Generally our talents are disregarded based on our gender identity.
83. Footfall down. Booty up beneath space. If you are asked to do or booty about commodity that you anticipate your auto friend, partner, or aide is added able for. Accord our names.
84 Adulation us and see us as animal beings. Afterwards all, that’s what we are!
85. Watch Pose, Paris is Burning, Tomboy, Tangerine.
86. Apprentice the actual terminology. Instead of adage “when you were a girl/a boy” say “your assigned gender at birth.”
87. “Transgenders” is not a thing. We do not abatement beneath one group. Never say that.
88. Fight for our rights. Block and address pages or bodies overextension hate, too.
89. Advice to acquaint gender aloof bathrooms. They should be way added common. Ask for them at work, cafes, bars, and venues.
90. If somebody who is auto asks you to go to the bath with them, go. This can be a actual alarming amplitude for us.
91. Pride is not for you to get bashed and apply beam on your face. Account that this is not your space.
92. Trans-only groups are there for a reason. These are additionally not your spaces.
93. Your concern does not appear afore our comfort. Don’t apprehend answers and labor.
94. Adage “I do not see gender” is hella problematic. We don’t charge addition way to be erased.
95. Don’t accept annihilation about gender dysphoria. Not anybody adventures it and not anybody adventures it in the aforementioned way. Bodies cross it with altered arresting mechanisms.
96. Do not abjure your privilege. If you acquaint me that actuality a cis heteroual white man doesn’t beggarly you haven’t “had it rough,” I will acquaint you that you are wrong.
97. I additionally am not arena Top Trumps with you. Don’t try to top my experience.
98. Not aggregate needs labels. As my grandmother would say: “Baby, some things aloof be as they be.”
99. Intimacy can be alike added complicated for some auto folk. Account boundaries and agency bodies feel adequate with nudity, tactility, and . This may been actuality accommodating or unlearning what we account as ‘’.
100. Acquisition your own agency to agitate the cis world. There are so abounding agency to do this.
This commodity originally appeared on Broadly
This commodity originally appeared on VICE UK.
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